Pirates of the Caribbean:  At World's End is the third, and hopefully final, movie in a series that started fun and ended in a complete, incoherent mess.

This is the part of the review where I usually try to describe a little of the plot.  I hesitate for fear my brain might explode, but here's the best I can do.  The crew goes to the end of the world to rescue Jack (where he's gone crazy and multiplied), faces their foes Davy Jones and Lord Beckett, and risks releasing Calypso…all while betraying and reuniting with each other every five seconds.  My suggestion is that you just tune out the voices and watch the phenomenal special effects.

When this movie isn't terrible, it's only mediocre at best.  The acting is decent, and those that are great (like Depp) could be seen giving equal performances in the first film.

So How Does It End?

Sao Feng (Chow Yun Fat) is not given the screen time he deserved.  Only about 15 minutes of face time is just not enough for such a great actor.  From the previews it seemed that he was to be a major character, however, it just didn't turn out that way.

Norrington's Death was shabby.  He redeemed himself by helping Elizabeth and her crew but his death should've been by someone at least in their right mind.

Barbossa releases Calypso, the goddess of the sea, who has been trapped in the body of Tia Dalma.  She grows to the size of a 40 foot woman and then, as if she wasn't hard enough to understand with a Cajun accent, she starts yelling like Satan, crumbles into a thousand crabs and leaves the audience scratching its head. After that all she does is create a maelstrom thats seems to be so huge it doesnt swallow the Flying Dutchman or the Black Pearl for nearly a half hour.  Even then the Black Pearl somehow miraculously is able to pull out of it.

Elizabeth and William get married while in the middle of a sword fight with the crew from the Flying Dutchman.  Yes, after fighting and lying and not trusting each other for two hours (four hours if you count the second movie), we're supposed to be excited about their final union. 

William frees his father from Davy Jones, but receives a fatal stab in the process.  Right before death they help him stab the heart and now he will be the Captain of the Flying Dutchman and can only see Elizabeth one day every ten years.  This would have been really tragic if I actually felt something about their love affair.

Lord Beckett is defeated.  His death scene is definitely going on my top ten list of the most ridiculous things I've ever seen.  Seriously, if there's ever a tornado, this guy could save you.  He's able to walk calmly through an exploding ship without getting hit by a SINGLE piece of shrapnel!

Beckett's army retreats even though they have thousands of ships and the pirates only have nine.  Makes sense to me.

If you stay after the credits you'll get a lovely scene of Elizabeth going to meet William after ten years with their now nine year old son.  The scene after the credits should have been the director apologizing for wasting the last three hours of your life.

The curse of the captain of the Flying Dutchman should have been better explained.  Pam (Dutchess Lucrezia) had some info on the curse which would have been a really great piece of info to have known:

"The captain of the Flying Dutchman curse can be broken and that's why Davy Jones was so furious with Calypso. If the captain's true love is waiting for him when he comes ashore after 10 years the spell is broken and he is no longer bound to the ship - he's free to live a normal mortal life on land again. A new captain is chosen to continue the 10 year cycle. When Davy returned to shore after the first 10 years Calypso was not there to meet him. The curse was not broken and he was doomed to remain captain for eternity. SO when Will comes back after the first ten years (since Liz is waiting for him with their son) the spell is broken and Will can join his family for the rest of his life."

Yeah thanks to the writers of the movie... we didn't freakin know that!  This information is definately important, don't you think??

If you're in the mood for a pirate movie, go buy the first one and pretend the two sequels never existed.